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I Once Knew A Girl

In The Years Of My Youth

(no subject)
So Friday.
What a fuckin day.
Wen to Advisory, had popcorn w/ cheddar.
Laughed at Danny for telling Larissa hes not sexually attracted to her (LMFAO)
Went to lunch, then art.
During art got an ominous green slip for the nurses office
Got my voucher form
Went to Bentleys class, got an A on my speech
Went to Chem, laughed as Mr Donovan tried to get us to learn something day before break
Went to Conference Period
Got a page and a half of notes done for my AOI
After Conference period w/Mr.Bentley, I walked over to the Morse
I wanted to get my charcol drawings and give them to Jer
I walked into Studio 203, picked them up, considered about putting them into my backpack and decided against it.
I walked out the door and TAH-DAH!
Theres Ian, Tucker and Gordo in the elevator with the door open, like their waiting for me
I laughed at them and got in, we all started talking
Ians standing there playing music
Gordo and I are talking about his "mime box" and his video idea
And Tucker is being Tucker and destroying another box
We get to the first floor and the elevator gets called to the third and this girl from my Advisory gets in
I think her names Eliza? Gordo asks what floor and she says first.
So off we go. Ian tells me not the burn the pictures and to give them to Jeremie
I begin to agree when this guy comes over and rethinks his idea of taking the elevator but the girl hes with presses the button and Gordo hit the open door button at the same time
The door squeled at us and didnt budge, but there was an inch between the door and the jam.
So the girl on the other side starts going Oh shit I think I broke the elevator
And Gordos like bright one.. And tries to open it by force.
Doesnt move.
Me and Ian are kinda staring at the door. I start laughing hysterically
The girl and guy left like a minute later
And about three minutes of prying at the door, Gordo calls Mr Sherer
Sherer gets there eventually, calls a guy named Mr Smith after he tries getting the doors  opened
Byt this time I text Jer and go hey Im stuck in an elevator
And he texts me back what
I go yeah in Morse
He replys Im none to happy
So Im like fml..
Gordo tells me Im an idiot cuz Jers gunna come and be all macho with the door
Tucker and Gordo keep trying to get the door open
Ian and I talk about the ceiling tiles
And the ladder up the elevator shaft as a possible escape route
And then we talk about how in movies theres an air supply and how were good cuz the doors still slightly ajar
I sit next to the emergency call box, even though we didnt use it I thought it was a good idea for someone to sit next to the control thing too
Ten minutes go by
Mr Smith gets there
After about ten minutes of him working on the door, the door screaches open
And theres Jeremie.
Glaring at me and Ian and Gordo and Tucker
Greame and Matt are right behind him
Jer walks over to his coat and then walks up the stairs to the sendcond floor and the exit
I try to stop him from walking away from me and have him all but gently push me aside
He wont talk to me
He walks through the fieldhouse and out into the parkinglot
Down the steps and to the car
Complete silence, then Matt and Greame walk up to his car from the other way, they walked the short way from behind the Morse
Matt asks him something
He answers
Greame says something about Eli
He answers
I stand there.
He gets in his car. Matt and Greame walk to Matts car
I stand there.
I out my back pack on right, hold onto the charcol pieces and start to walk towards the hill to Rt 5 to get home
Two miles.
I could do it. It was warm out
I start walking
I pass Matt
He asks me if everythings okay
I reply Just peachy
I keep walking, I got to the second lot, the one for juniors by the time Jer caught up with me
He gave me a hug
Told me I was an idiot for using the elevator
That the elevator is for crippled people
And to get in his car
So I did.
And we drove over to JC Penny
Cuz earlier I had gotten my voucher for 200 dollars for school clothes
I sat there on the way over and cried.
He was pissed that I put myself in harms way, and thank god we were'nt on the third floor
I was like Ian said that while we were in the elevator haha.. He kinda glared at me
So then he gave me a hug when we got to the store
He told me he hates worrying about people and that he was really worried about me and that he wasnt exactly mad at me more mad at himself for being worried cuz he hates it..
Then we went in the store and I found a few shirts and some pants
All within the dress code that arent so bad
And I found a dress and a pair of boots for the masquerade on Friday night
Then he and I stopped at Kelseys real quick, the first thing that came out of my mouth when I walked into her door was
"I made him so angry today by getting stuck in an elevator it wasnt funny"
George took that as an incentive to go outside (drunk as he was) and tell Jer that he better watch himself and to treat me right
And shook his hand and left an open threat of 'shes my little sister, you better treat her right, or else'
Then after about a half hour of being in the cold we left Kelsey and Danny to go to my house
Where I made him sit down and relax
He was like jittery with anger about how the whole damn day went
So I made a pizza and reheated some Italian breaded chicken with Moz cheese on it
And we watch Run Away Jury
(Did you know Luis Guzman is in that movie?? I swear he like, follows me through the media haha)
Then we went to the Bowling Alley and met up with Greame, Bentley and Eli and waited for Jay and Mat and Jamie.
Sav was at the alley too, with Robert Jewl and this kid Zack who has my free block and this kid Chris whose her ex and in my Advisory
Bentley was like Ohhh lala lol your friends cute and I was like she does have a boyfriendddd
Then they left, promised Sav we'd hang and I'd end up at the house
Me, Greame, Jer, Eli, Bentley, Jay, Matt and Jamie took over the two pool tables and attacked the jukebox haha
It was pretty sweet
Jay was like ahaha you broke the elevator, but girl dont put yourself in situactions like that -_-*
Matt became 'Jesus' and Eli got the leprachauns to help him in pool
Jer was kicking ass haha
And I ofcourse sucked lol
Then we left at about twenty to twelve, we ditched the boys and headed  back to Victory
Which is where I was all day today
And thats my story.
Taylor agreed to go to the masquerade, and when she gets back from Canada on Monday were gunna daytrip to Littleton {almost just typed Lincroft} to check out a costume store if they have any good masks
Im gunna see if Jess will convince Eli to go
And possibly the rest of them
Its only 3 dollars to get in w/ a mask
Thats pretty decent
Sigh Mom texted me just now
Im so tiredddd
I gotta go ask Bentley if hes considered going to the Masquerade

(no subject)

Friday, Feb 19th, 2010 -- Instead of relying on your quick wit and your ability to think on your feet today, you are better off closing the window on words and opening your senses to direct impressions. You don't need to rationalize your choices now, nor do you need to justify an intuitive hit that leads you in a particular direction. If you have a hunch, follow it and fill in the logic afterward.

Thats how my horoscopes have been all week. Dont say anything in responce. You dont need to. If yout hink somethings one way then dont do anything about it till you've figured it all out. Is interesting.

So this morning I had twenty dollars to my name.
I got my voucher for school clothes.
Went to PP on Wednesday like planned.
Went to VTLSP Wednesday night.
Mercedes isnt in school today so everyones like Jayboy your freeee =] Well not exactly everyone, more like me and Ian lol
Sigh. Chin up. Head back.
I had that dream again.
Jeremie actually woke up when I started shaking and he woke up again when i was sitting on the side of the bed.
Its really starting to get to me..
I know I shouldnt read so much into things like dreams and card readings and omens, but I do..
And that I dont think will ever change.
Right now, I really dont want to.

After talking about The Hunger Games in class I got the book from the library
I read chapter one and I was like damn I missed reading lol
I told Jay and Erin about the book
Speaking of Erin shes sick today, on the last day of cheerleading, poor kid. =/

Speaking of cheerleading being over today, Jeremie and I talked about Jay and his situation.
I was like 'Jay lied to me, hes not gunna do it..'
And he was like you really need to give him more time, hes not ready
I was like inner monolouge - no ones ready for something like that. Not ever
But I didnt say that
I was like yeah. Okay fine your right. Ill leave it alone. but I will kick his ass if he lets it go on scarring him.

I told Jeremie about basicly everything. When I say basicly everything I was like so this is why Im now in Vermont.
I told him about my dad
And I told him about how Im not the best person in the world
And he sat there and kinda took it all in and after my whole shpeel, he hugged me.
He apologized for me not really having a mother figure for the past eight years
Coming from the kid that lost his mother and watched his world shatter when he was 11 says alot.

I dont know how else to describe him other than he has an old soul in a younger body
He takes everything in on a diffrent level
And its not like he take it personally but he takes it all in
And I admore that, I wish I was that good with people haha


The Dragon Ladies keep walking in and out of my study room.
No Im good I dont need anything, I dont need help can I be left alone for the duration of my free block pleaseeeee/
Todays Advisory like every Friday
So we prolong C Block and we still get out ten minutes early
I have my speech due for Bentley today, which IS done
Oh - Teaching Art yesterday was awesome
Yes, me teach. And we got stuff done
We did a charcol and chalk portrait of Sara, which was awesome lol
and I initiated snaps into our critiques lol <3 yay me haha
But yeah, Advisorys, Daniel transfered into my Advisory on Tuesday?
Yeah, and todays our meeting so the fit time
I hope we sit on the foor again
Theres not gunna be enough desks haha

I wish I had the eighty dollars to make the round trip.
But maybe this is a good thing.
This way I dont miss Jays birthday
And I can put something together
Also theres a masquerade ball at Bear Tavern next Friday
And Im down for it lol
Jer isnt going to ask me to go with him as his date - so Im gunna ask Ian lol <3
Sigh thatll be funny a hell

I have Conference Period with Bentley today and B Block is almost over.
Il try and get a chance to post later but Im not sure IF Ill be able to

Valentines Day recap.

Hey hunny.. Do you feel any better?
=/ So what happened?
Okay fine..
go back to your damn valentines day
im really not doing anything. Im just hanging out with Jer..
Seriously Lyssa; I love you like a sister. And I worry about you. Even if Im like a few hundred miles away.
And Im osrry I keep dropping the ball on our friendship I really do feel like crap about that
But I do care.
Just; if you need someone to talk I am here
You have your life, I have mine. Just don't fucking forget where you've been. No, I don't want to fucking talk to anyone because everything is turning to scum lately, and I'm sick of it. I'd have better luck jumping off a god damn bridge.
Dont talk like that; you do have things going for you ya'know
No i fucking don't
and don't try to tell me otherwise because you wont be able to
And why not
Cuz I believe it
Your a strong person Lyssa
You can pull through everything
I'm going to break someones neck if one more persons says that
Okay fine.
Your weak.
I don't give a damn anymore
I don't have any value on my life
You may not but theres others that do
I value your life
You're too busy with your new life.
Im not to busy
I just
Im not busy
That's a lie
and you and I both know it
nice try.
What am I to busy for Lyssa?
Im gunna go.
^ case and point. Bye.
If you wanna talk later; you can text if you want.
Okay Lyssa.
Im not busy Im getting off because Im not making you feel any beter which is ending in me feeling like shit.
And I hatefeeling like shit.
Ill just talk to you later
have a better day


Yeah it looks easy to love her but believe me brother; its harder than it looks. <3

No if, and's, but's or maybe's
So you wanna be her baby
I can read your face like a book
Yeah it looks easy to love her but believe me brother
It's harder than it looks

She's as pretty as a picture
Every bit as funny as she is smart
Got a smile that'll hold you together
And a touch that'll tear you apart
When she's yours she brings the sunshine
When she's gone the world goes dark
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes
But boy she's hell on the heart

Yeah she's good when she's bad
She's cute when she's mad
And she does all the wrong things right
Yeah boy it's a fact when they're made like that
You ain't ever gonna sleep at night

She's as pretty as a picture
Every bit as funny as she is smart
Got a smile that'll hold you together
And a touch that'll tear you apart
When she's yours she brings the sunshine
When she's gone the world goes dark
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes
But boy she's hell on the heart

Once you feel her touch and you've felt that rush
It's gonna mess up your head
But here's the kicker son
Your old ticker's gonna beat you half to death

She's as pretty as a picture
Every bit as funny as she is smart
Got a smile that'll hold you together
And a touch that'll tear you apart
When she's yours she brings the sunshine
When she's gone the world goes dark
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes
But boy she's hell on the heart
Yeah she's hell on the heart

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Hell On The Heart <3

No if, and's, but's or maybe's
So you wanna be her baby
I can read your face like a book
Yeah it looks easy to love her but believe me brother
It's harder than it looks

She's as pretty as a picture
Every bit as funny as she is smart
Got a smile that'll hold you together
And a touch that'll tear you apart
When she's yours she brings the sunshine
When she's gone the world goes dark
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes
But boy she's hell on the heart

Thats only half the song cuz my comp keeps being a dinosaur..
So my Maya Angelou saying?
'Dont trust a naked person that offers you a shirt?'
Yeah, blown to all bloody hell.
Now I have this little CUATION popup in my head (Ian told me to get a new popup blocker lol)

Fucking A.
I really do like him alot.
Like, I cant deny feelings for him at all. I love spending time with him.
He makes me feel like a little kid again; just pure and happy at all times.
But how can you love someone if you dont love yourself?
Like; oddlys enough this is coming from me, the girl that didnt love herself for a long assed time.
But I do now. I do love myself. And accpt myself for who I am.

He doesnt love himself at all..
Hes like "I accept myself, but I dont love myself." I was sitting there dumbfounded.
Like.. What do I say to that?
What do I do?

Jayboy was like 'dont worry'
i was like thats telling water not to be wet
Hes like google it, theres such a thing as dry water
I was like WTF!? NO WAY!
Its true. There is such a thing.
There goes another saying, completely slaughtered by the Vermont boys

Tinas like "Dude whatevs." and stole my phone is now texting her boo. Their not 'together' but shes like oh I hate boys but Aquil is diffrent.
My sister the player lol

I should go to bed.
Its past my bedtime and.. Its late..

Did I Just Say That?
Damn that boy really is wearing off on me

Lmfao just wait till I tell him tomorrow lol

Sick. Ick.
 Last night I was like; vomiting everywehre. Not pretty.
So fin got to bed at like 2 am. After Jer dropped me off at like 11ish
I could barely make the car ride home from his house; we had to pull over twice. I was so embarassed..
But then I was home running the fifteen feet from futon to bathroom
I think I lost more wieght running..
Then I had tea and rice cakes and water
=] I was starving.
And I watched some Russian sub movie with Sean Connery in it, random and wierd..
And Giddy slept on my feet and Huck at my head.
Brat dogs.
Then I got up at like 9 and went over here to Ians
Were we diluted our brains
With Battlestar Galactica and Caprica
Ian is bashing on my entry setups
Check it 
Me - O_o ... Yes?

We have way to much fun haha
I gotta go make cookies for Jer
Happy Valentines Day <3

How do you describe something that you've felt before, but not like this?
Over powering.

And hes a brat. He read my entry -__-
Now hes all like Aweeeeee. -__-
I adore him. I really do.
I made him breakfast this mornin; ham and eggs <3
And I gave it to him on a toast sandwich
I hate having my period; but this is a rather big proof that hes not just interested in the sex.
Hes playing vid games now haha
I was playing Assassins Creed 2
And being rather beast at it lol
If I do say so myself lol
Hes so damn cute lol
Im gunna go bother him.
Ill be on later <3

His ex.


Jessica Baxter February 2 at 5:19pm
ok so let me get this straight, you came to my work to try and flaunt your new lesbian girlfriend who is no where close to what you had when you were with me!? thats cute jeremie. good luck.
Jeremie Preston February 3 at 2:55pm
I didn't know you're working that night. And i'm asking you to not compare yourself with my new lesbian girlfriend. Jess u have a happier life now, i hear you're engaged and i wish you the happiest, but can't you just let me be. I'm happy now and i hope you are too. Bon chance mon ami :)
Jessica Baxter February 4 at 3:26pm
good, im glad you are happy, im sorry you wernt happy with me. who told you i was engaged? was does bon chance mon ami mean?

He didnt reply. And she has followed my D Block class into Ranger computer lab..
And Abbey turns tome and goes "dude. Your getting death stares." Like if your gunna evil eye me, you should try not to be so obvious. Your just like Mercedes.
You treat people around you like shit and still expect them to be your love toy.
Fuck that.
Im proud of Jeremie for being civil with you; he deserves alot more credit than anyone.
You cheated on him. You used him. You've toyed with him.
I understand exactly what hes gone through.
And your a piece of shit.
I dont care to know who you are or even what you look like.
I got a glimpse of your ratty bitch face in the comp lab.
Grow up.
If you really wanna see how bitchy a Jersey girl can get; I dare you to try and play games with him.
I wont fucking stand by and watch shit happen.
I hate you.
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Ian Mason saved my life and my phone works again! <3

Got most of my AOI stuff done w/ Ian as my mentor
Watched Caprica
NOTE: Ian is my counter part. Swear on my life lol
We both love Battlestar Galactica
We both love video games

Both love the Japanese language and

Crazy shit haha

Gosh Im texting Jer already lol
Sigh I called him and as like HEY I HAVE A PHONEE KLUVYOUNIGHT
And now we texting lol
I should go to bed.
I need to wake up early and shower in the morning lol

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I bailed on school today to clean

I cant BELIEVE how NASTY this house is!

Like; I cant have a social life because the house gets trashed.
I want to cry.
Im not even close to done with the livingroom yet
And Im doing laundry at the same time
And Im waiting for Jer to come over to give me a hug after C Block ends..
I need it.
I feel so overwhelmed.
Im not a caretaker.
Im not a maid..
Im a teenager.