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I Once Knew A Girl

In The Years Of My Youth

So people tried throwing Lyssa under the bus. Nice one guys.

Okay first off; before i start with any good news, i need to talk to you, because people are pissed off at you down here.
A. because for however long you were down here you were a lesbian, and you go up there and are instantly in a relationship with a guy
B. they think you lead everyone on down here and you also let a lot of people down by randomly dating a guy because a lot of closet cases trusted you.
C. the fact that we're all getting countless tweets, and facebook statuses, about it, is annoying, yes, we're happy for you, but we don't want to hear it everyday.
D. the fact that you're ' in love' after what two weeks? is more than far fetched and you're not, i'm sorry but it doesn't happen, this isn't the movies.

alright, that's everything i was told to tell you, people aren't happy about it at all. and if you're not pissed at me, then i'll tell you about the guy

A.I was pretty fucking damn sure I was a lesbian. Why Im jusifying myself to the general public of Jersey is beyond me, I really dont feel like I owe any of them anything. But yeah. So I found a guy that gives me butterflies. No guys has done that in a very long time. Okay? Moving on.
B.If I lead anyone on, seriously I dont know where that one is coming from but if I did, I didnt intentionaly do that. I dont know if you've ever noticed this about me but I dont like going out of my way to hurt people. Its not something I do. Or do well for that matter; I mean comeon I can barely plan a party let alone plan to tye my own damn shoes.
C. Okay then, my bad about spamming it. But Im happy. What are you gunna do?
D. I know what I feel. And I've felt this way before. And I didnt know what to call it then. And right now Im not sure what exactly to call it. A great abundance of feelings? A ton of senses that get overwhelmed at the thought of him? What, you never felt like that? Stomache flips at the sound of the persons voice, heart kartwheels, legs get wobbly, sweaty palms?
Yeah, so its been two weeks. I've lived up here for three.

Let me tell you something.
I have never been so damn happy in my life.
So people are pissed that I called myeself a lesbian? Im still attracted to girls!
So I have alot of feelings towards a guy.
Fucking kill me.

Im the way Alyssa signed the message was if I was pissed at her. Im not pissed at her. I shrugged it off.

I talked about htis earlier today with Savanah.
And if any of you have a problem; dont send Alyssa.
Grow a pair.

I mean really?
Im seventeen.
Im somehow a junior in highschool.
And Im 800 miles from total familiarity but Im learning fast.
Thats what I do, I learn from my experiances and the world around me.

My experiances brought me to the conclusion that Im gay.

I still am sexually attracted to girls.

But I found a guy that has something about him that no other guy that I have ever met has.
When I have a name for it, I'll let you know. Till then; its nameless.

Why the fuck am I justifying myself.
I have nothing to justify.
Nothing to say sorry for.

All I have to say is- if you have ever been in love; you'd understand.

And if you really are a friend; you'd care about me being happy.

My New Philosophy
Im seventeen years old. I dont know everything. Im trying to live my life. If you dont like it; go live your own.