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I Once Knew A Girl

In The Years Of My Youth

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Friday, Feb 19th, 2010 -- Instead of relying on your quick wit and your ability to think on your feet today, you are better off closing the window on words and opening your senses to direct impressions. You don't need to rationalize your choices now, nor do you need to justify an intuitive hit that leads you in a particular direction. If you have a hunch, follow it and fill in the logic afterward.

Thats how my horoscopes have been all week. Dont say anything in responce. You dont need to. If yout hink somethings one way then dont do anything about it till you've figured it all out. Is interesting.

So this morning I had twenty dollars to my name.
I got my voucher for school clothes.
Went to PP on Wednesday like planned.
Went to VTLSP Wednesday night.
Mercedes isnt in school today so everyones like Jayboy your freeee =] Well not exactly everyone, more like me and Ian lol
Sigh. Chin up. Head back.
I had that dream again.
Jeremie actually woke up when I started shaking and he woke up again when i was sitting on the side of the bed.
Its really starting to get to me..
I know I shouldnt read so much into things like dreams and card readings and omens, but I do..
And that I dont think will ever change.
Right now, I really dont want to.

After talking about The Hunger Games in class I got the book from the library
I read chapter one and I was like damn I missed reading lol
I told Jay and Erin about the book
Speaking of Erin shes sick today, on the last day of cheerleading, poor kid. =/

Speaking of cheerleading being over today, Jeremie and I talked about Jay and his situation.
I was like 'Jay lied to me, hes not gunna do it..'
And he was like you really need to give him more time, hes not ready
I was like inner monolouge - no ones ready for something like that. Not ever
But I didnt say that
I was like yeah. Okay fine your right. Ill leave it alone. but I will kick his ass if he lets it go on scarring him.

I told Jeremie about basicly everything. When I say basicly everything I was like so this is why Im now in Vermont.
I told him about my dad
And I told him about how Im not the best person in the world
And he sat there and kinda took it all in and after my whole shpeel, he hugged me.
He apologized for me not really having a mother figure for the past eight years
Coming from the kid that lost his mother and watched his world shatter when he was 11 says alot.

I dont know how else to describe him other than he has an old soul in a younger body
He takes everything in on a diffrent level
And its not like he take it personally but he takes it all in
And I admore that, I wish I was that good with people haha


The Dragon Ladies keep walking in and out of my study room.
No Im good I dont need anything, I dont need help can I be left alone for the duration of my free block pleaseeeee/
Todays Advisory like every Friday
So we prolong C Block and we still get out ten minutes early
I have my speech due for Bentley today, which IS done
Oh - Teaching Art yesterday was awesome
Yes, me teach. And we got stuff done
We did a charcol and chalk portrait of Sara, which was awesome lol
and I initiated snaps into our critiques lol <3 yay me haha
But yeah, Advisorys, Daniel transfered into my Advisory on Tuesday?
Yeah, and todays our meeting so the fit time
I hope we sit on the foor again
Theres not gunna be enough desks haha

I wish I had the eighty dollars to make the round trip.
But maybe this is a good thing.
This way I dont miss Jays birthday
And I can put something together
Also theres a masquerade ball at Bear Tavern next Friday
And Im down for it lol
Jer isnt going to ask me to go with him as his date - so Im gunna ask Ian lol <3
Sigh thatll be funny a hell

I have Conference Period with Bentley today and B Block is almost over.
Il try and get a chance to post later but Im not sure IF Ill be able to

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"But maybe this is a good thing.
This way I dont miss Jays birthday"

but no, you haven't replaced us at all.

You know what, I've known Jay longer than I've known most of the people in Jersey. So if your gunna choose him to tell me I've replaced you with then bite me. Its not like you havent gone and gotten close with other people, people other than me or whoever. So you dont want me to have close friends up here.
Stop being so damn jealous.

Lmao and who made every effort to talk to you? me. You barely talked to me. I always had to start a conversation, the phone works both ways, and you choose not to use it. You're pissed that I'm right and you lost everyone down here. Kiss my ass you spiteful bitch.

Lemme just tell you what spiteful means.
spite·ful   [spahyt-fuhl] Show IPA
full of spite or malice; showing spite; malicious; malevolent; venomous: a spiteful child.
1400–50; late ME; see spite, -ful

—Related forms
spite·ful·ly, adverb
spite·ful·ness, noun
un·spite·ful, adjective
un·spite·ful·ly, adverb

vengeful, mean, cruel, rancorous. Spiteful, revengeful, vindictive refer to a desire to inflict a wrong or injury on someone, usually in return for one received. Spiteful implies a mean or malicious desire for (often petty) revenge: a spiteful attitude toward a former friend. Revengeful implies a deep, powerful, and continued intent to repay a wrong: a fierce and revengeful spirit. Vindictive does not imply action necessarily, but stresses the unforgiving nature of the avenger: a vindictive look.


Case and point - your being spiteful. So grow up.

Lmao I'm so glad you took the time to tell me something i already know. Took bad you have NO case and point because you have NO criteria to back it up with. You're telling me to grow up? Sweetie I have everyone down here on my side, you need a reality check. I'm more mature and stable on my own than you will EVER be, because you can't handle the real world unless your bragging. I'm no where near spiteful, not towards you at least, please, not even YOU are worth my spitefulness. "mean, cruel, vindictive" do you know what any of them mean? No, probably not. They probably don't sell dictionaries in Vermont. You don't get it, you're in some kind of denial. You're trying to be right, and you're not going to be, get over it, and come to terms with it. You've purposely said and done things specifically to annoy me, because you know you could. You stopped giving a damn about me, because apparently I don't matter enough to you. Who ALWAYS struck up a conversation, and who kept you up to date down here? ME, did you ever start a conversation with me? nope. So suck a dick...oh wait, you probably already do, since you're straight now and all. Get over it sweetie, everyone hates you down here and you're trying to prove me wrong and it's not working. Have a nice life :)

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